Apple
by DegrassiMyLove
Summary: "Nice to meet you, sir, my name is Adam Goldsworthy." AU – What if Eli had never found out that he was the father of Clare's child? Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1: Adam

**Hello readers! This is my first fic, so I would really appreciate feedback + constructive criticism. Let me know if you would like me to continue! Thanks for reading :)**

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"Mommy, mommy! I think I want to get that book," the 4 year-old exclaimed, tugging at Clare's cardigan.

"Adam, what did mommy say to do when two people who are talking?"

"I have to wait and not interrupt," Adam responded, feeling guilty.

"Don't worry sweetie, mommy will get you that book. You deserve it for being such a good boy all year," Clare said with a smile.

She loved him more than anything. Even through college, he had never been any burden on her. She wondered how he could be so understanding for his age. In ways, he reminded her of Adam Torres, one of her best friends in high school, and the one she named him after.

It hurt when she thought about how his father wasn't involved. How he had left her with the memory of him accusing her of being…promiscuous. The day he called her a whore was the day she decided that she could–no, she _would_ do this on her own, with the help of her mother, of course. And Helen was always willing to help. For somebody who was so strict prior to her divorce, Helen had proved to be a great mother in supporting Clare through the entire pregnancy, when _he_ should have been there.

But that was five years ago. Clare has matured in more than one way, and she even looks different. Her hair falls right below her shoulders, she lost a bit of weight, and she is full of confidence–but never arrogance. Over the years, her sarcasm has subsided, as have her occasional snarky comments. She never wanted Adam to feel like he was unwanted in any way, and so she took the role of both his mother and father.

Once when he was three, he asked about his dad. Upon noticing Clare's tears, he hid in his room, feeling bad for making his mother cry. He never asked again.

After purchasing two books for her son–one as a surprise–Clare and Adam left the store. They headed to a nearby café to grab a snack.

"Mommy, there's two books in this bag!" The boy was so eager to start reading.

Clare let out a laugh. She adored his innocence.

"That's a cute kid you've got there," a familiar voice complimented.

There it was. She didn't want it to be him. She didn't want to even think about him. She had almost forgotten.

Almost.

"Clare…?" Eli broke the silence.

"Eli…hi."

"How have you been? It's been so long since we've seen each other!" Jeez, for somebody who left her on such bad terms, he's pretty chipper.

"I've been good, Eli. How have you been?" She responded as casually as possible.

"Same for me. So uh… who's this little guy?" The dreaded question.

"He's–"

"Drew's kid?" Of course he wouldn't leave it alone.

Before Clare could even respond to Eli, the child himself intervened.

"Nice to meet you, sir, my name is Adam Goldsworthy. How do you know my mommy?"

"…Goldsworthy? What is this, Clare, some kind of sick joke?" He was angry now. He had no right whatsoever.

"Adam, can you go inside and ask for some water please?" The little boy excitedly rushed away.

"Eli, you _cannot_ talk like that in front of a child."

"Then what do you expect me to do Clare, just sit here while you name a child after me? For _fuck's_ sake, it's not even _mine_!" he exploded.

"Then we can talk about this when you're calm. I'm not going to sit here and be insulted again." Clare solemnly replied.

Adam ran back, panting. "I'm back mommy! Here's your water!"

At that point, Clare got up.

"Goodbye, Eli." And she was gone, once again.

* * *

He couldn't stop thinking about it...her..._him_. That couldn't be his child...she told him it wasn't.

He always used to go after her. He always wanted her to be his. Dammit, he flew back to Canada that weekend to save their relationship.

But he fucked up, just like always. He cheated. He basically pushed her into Drew's arms. That's probably where she was better off; she didn't need his bullshit anymore.

Why wasn't he running after her now?

The lack of an answer to that question was reason enough for him to leave that café and go after her.

* * *

"Clare!"

Was he following her? Again, right after he had yelled at her?

"Clare, I'm sorry! Can we just sit down and talk, please?" he begged.

"Mommy, mommy, that man is calling you!" Adam innocently conveyed.

"What, Eli? What is it that you need from me _now?"_ she scathingly replied.

"I just...I just want to talk. Get some answers. Please, I'm begging."

"Fine," she consented. "We can talk after his bed time. Give me your number, I'll call you when I'm ready to talk."


	2. Chapter 2: Mine

**Hello readers! Thanks to those of you who reviewed and followed, I really appreciate it and it lets me know that you want more. Again, I would love to get any feedback, whether it is constructive criticism or just any other thought that you have. Anyway, here is Chapter 2. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading (:**

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**Chapter 2: Mine**

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He had been walking back and forth in his small kitchen apartment, anticipating the call. His palms were sweaty, so he placed his phone on the countertop.

_It's obviously my kid. Why else would his last name be the same as mine? But what about Drew? How did she know? Why didn't she tell me?_

It was close to midnight when the phone finally rang. Of course, he picked it up halfway through the first ring.

"Hello, Clare?" he practically yelled into the phone.

"Hi Eli...do you still want to talk?" she asked softly.

"Yes! Yes, absolutely." He held a big smile on his face, as if he had won something.

"Alright well–"

"Could I come over? I feel like it might be easier for us to talk that way," he interrupted.

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea, Eli."

"Why not?" he questioned, his smile suddenly gone.

"I don't feel like I can trust you," she simply stated.

"And why is that?"

"Eli…you have a history of acting irrationally to any little thing that is not to your liking. I just don't want my child to get hurt."

"I'm sorry for all of it Clare, I really am. I want you to know I'm not that same person anymore. I mean, all the good stuff is there, but I'm a lot more stable now and–"

"You yelled at me a couple of hours ago; how do you justify that?" she sounded like she was about to cry.

"…Look, Clare. I get it–it's hard to trust me. But, I am capable of talking to you calmly. Please, just give me that chance. I want you to see that I can handle it."

There was a silence.

"Clare?"

"Alright, Eli. One chance. You get one chance, and that's it." And his smile came back.

"I won't let you down, Clare. I promise."

"I'll hold you to that promise, then," she responded and hung up.

* * *

Clare texted him the address shortly after ending their call.

She laid down on her comfy brown couch in the living room of her two-bedroom apartment in an attempt to calm her nerves. She knew that whenever he was near her, she fell for him even more.

But this time, a child is involved. And she refuses to let that child get hurt.

_Maybe if I get some more experience I can work at Degrassi…the better the pay, the more I can give to Adam_.

It's funny, because even though she _did_ have a child while going to university, Clare had a very comfortable life financially. Her mom's help definitely gave her a boost, but besides that, her short internship at the Toronto Interpreter allowed her to get a job as a journalist for her college's newspaper. But after having Adam, she realized that she loved to be around kids, and that was what helped her decide that she wanted to be a teacher. So after getting her teaching degree, Clare became an English teacher at the local middle school.

_I just never want him to feel like…he doesn't have a father._

The sound of the doorbell ringing brought Clare out of her thoughts. She immediately got to the door, but opened it rather slowly.

"Hey…" Clare awkwardly said.

"Hey," Eli coolly responded.

"Come on in," Clare motioned her hand inside. Eli nodded in response.

They walked over to the couch and sat down.

"Look, I don't really want to bullshit around. I think I get the basic idea, but just explain to me what's going on," Eli firmly said.

Clare took in a deep breath. "Well…this is obviously news for you. The reason Adam's last name is Goldsworthy is…because he's your kid. There's no other reason for him to be named so. I thought about giving him my last name, but it just didn't seem right to me. I knew that I was going to be raising him alone, but I wanted him to have at least a piece of his father," she briefly explained.

"But, you didn't have to raise him alone, Clare. You could have told me. You know I would have been happy…" Eli said, seemingly unsure of himself.

"Would you really have, Eli? There was no telling which way you could have gone. And as for telling you, I tried. And do you remember what _you_ said? You called me a whore. A whore, Eli. For somebody who always called us soul mates…it was just so hard to hear that coming from you."

Eli took some time to think about what he could say. _I have a child…how do I feel about this?_ He looked down at his hands, then back up at Clare.

"So…he's my kid. But, what about Drew? When did you tell him?"

Clare averted her eyes. "Well, I didn't actually tell him. I told Alli, who told Dallas, who told Drew. Then Drew came back to me and basically yelled in my face. Obviously I was hurt, but I got over it. What else was I supposed to do?" Clare looked into Eli's eyes and continued, "And then I came to you to tell you before you found out from anybody else...and then you know what happened."

Eli still seemed unsatisfied.

"Wait, another question then. How did you even know that it was mine?"

"When I went for my ultrasound the day before I came to you, the doctor told me the sex of the baby. It was weird because of two things. One, I didn't even ask for the sex, so I wondered why she told me. More importantly though I was surprised that she could tell its sex at only 12 weeks, which was…"

"When you thought you conceived after sleeping with Drew?" Eli asked.

"Well, yes. But the doctor told me that I was 16 weeks, and since I only slept with Drew once, I connected the dots. I had just assumed that he was the father because he was the last person I had slept with. It was all just a huge jumble. I should have been smarter, about that at least," Clare explained.

The two sat quietly.

Finally, Eli broke the silence. "What happens now?"

"I mean, it's kind of up to you. I'm not going to force you to be involved, you know. I just thought it didn't make sense to hide the truth. Adam has lived four years without a dad, and if you don't want to be a part of his life…well it'll be okay. Because he doesn't know anything."

"But I want him to know, Clare. I want to be a part of his life. I want him to know me and I want to know him. I want to know my son," Eli pleaded.

Clare got up and began walking towards her kitchen to get them both a glass of water.

"Legally, I can't keep you from him. It's not like you voluntarily stayed out of his life," Clare stated logically. As much as it might hurt her to have Eli back in _her_ life, it could be what's best for her son.

"When can I meet him, then?"

Clare thought for a moment as she brought the water back to him.

Eli couldn't wait. "Could I maybe, stay the night?" he quietly asked.

"Eli…that's definitely not in the cards right now," Clare replied, almost shocked that he would even think that was an option.

"No, I don't mean next to you. Could I crash on the couch maybe? I just don't want to lose anymore time with him. I want to know how you guys live. I want to know what he's like. And I want to know _you_ again, Clare. I miss you."

"Alright," she decided. "Just for this night. And only because it's late," she added. "I'll bring you a pillow and a blanket. If you need anything else, then knock on my door. Oh, and the bathroom is down the hall to the left."

Eli smiled. "Thanks Clare…and, I meant it when I said I want to get to know you again."

Clare simply nodded in response, and went to her bedroom.

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**So, what do you guys think will happen next? What do you want to see happening? Let me know in a review!**

**xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3: Who Are We?

**Sorry for the long wait! I was finishing up my first year of college and things got busy, so I do apologize. But anyway, thanks for following and reviewing–here is (the rather short) Chapter 3 of "Apple". :)**

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**Chapter 3: Who Are We?**

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"Mommy, there's that weird man on the couch. Why is he there? Mommy, mommy, wake up!" Adam whispered, forcefully tugging on Clare's arm.

"Hmm?" Clare was still groggy.

"Mommy!" Adam finally screamed.

"Huh?" Clare woke up with a jerk. _Oh shit._

"Honey, mommy is getting up and she will explain everything to you in a bit," Clare promised.

* * *

For Eli, it was probably the best sleep he had in a while. Which to be real, didn't even make sense considering he was on a couch, when he was used to his king size bed.

"Eli, you have to get up now," Clare said, tapping on Eli's shoulder repeatedly.

"Hmm?"

_God, he's just as bad as me_, Clare thought.

"Eli, please."

Finally, he opened his eyes. And then he remembered: he was at Clare Edward's house, with her–_their_ son standing right there.

He got up with a jolt.

"Uh…hi!" Eli happily said to Adam.

"Hi, mister…why are you here?" Adam innocently asked

"I just wanted to get to know you, little guy," Eli responded.

"But why?" Adam pestered on.

Eli sighed. He didn't say anything for a minute. Finally, he spoke. "Because–"

"Because he's your dad, Adam," Clare interrupted.

* * *

Clare watched as Adam dragged Eli all across the apartment, eager to show him what was in his room and his knowledge about dinosaurs.

"You wanna dig up fossils someday, huh?" Eli asked, wanting to know all about his son.

"That's silly, daddy, I'm gonna _be_ a dinosaur! Rawr!" Adam joked.

It was surprising to Clare that Adam wasn't angry. Although he was always a happy child, he was rather logical. But she was happy. She didn't want Eli's entrance into Adam's life to be a traumatic or difficult one.

All Clare knew was that Eli wouldn't be back with _her_ anytime soon. She needed space to think about their past, without his influence.

After Adam was done showing his dad all of his things, Eli walked over to Clare.

"He's so bright. I can't believe he's ours. It's just like…we always wanted," Eli said, lowering his voice as he said the last part.

"You're right. Just like we _wanted_," Clare replied, placing emphasis on the past tense of the word.

"Why did things have to be this way?"

"Eli, there's not much to say. You had to go back to New York, and I had to stay here and raise Adam. I had to be here for him."

"Well, thanks to you, he's a great kid. And…I think he deserves a happy family, with us."

Clare looked down. She didn't know how to respond. _With us…what does that mean? It's too late to go back now. _

"Clare?"

"Eli, I don't know how to respond. I don't even know what you want," Clare replied. Adam was too busy with his dinosaurs to hear what his parents were talking about.

"Don't shut me out…that's all."

"I already told you, Eli. I'm not going to keep you from being involved."

"And what about us?" Eli pestered on.

"What about us?" Clare repeated.

"I just want to get to know you again, Clare."

"Well, first thing's first–do you have anyone in your life, like a girlfriend or wife? I just need Adam to be informed that we won't be together."

"Clare…nobody since you. I mean–here and there. It's been five years," Eli replied, trying to explain.

"Glad to know you're not the type to commit," Clare retorted.

"That's not fair."

"What's not fair, daddy? Tell me! Are you being mean to my mommy?" Adam innocently intervened.

"Nothing, sweetie. Are you hungry? Let me make you some breakfast." With that, Clare ended her conversation with Eli–_for now_.

* * *

The breakfast should have been hushed in awkward silence, but thanks to Adam, there wasn't any of that. He was so excited to be with his dad.

"Clare, is it okay if I take Adam to the zoo today? I'm sure he would enjoy seeing animals, especially on this bright day."

"Yeah mommy yeah! Can I go please? I don't have school for the whole summer!"

Clare thought for a moment. She _did_ say she would allow Eli to be in Adam's life.

"Alright, Adam, you can go," Clare said with a smile.

"Thanks, Clare," Eli sincerely replied.

She didn't know where this would go, and that scared her. She had been alone long enough, and she knew how to live. She didn't need Eli right now. Or ever, for that matter.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, and they were ready to go.

"Aren't you coming, mommy?" Adam asked.

"No sweetie, I need to finish up some things. But have fun with daddy, alright?" _Ugh_. The word was still foreign.

"See you in a couple hours then," Eli said. "Let's go little man!"

"Yay!" Adam exclaimed, clearly excited.

Off they went, and Clare was left alone with her thoughts once again.

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**Sorry for the short chapter! But I am back and promise the next one will be longer :) Please review and let me know what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4: Tell Me What To Do

**Hello all! Thank you for keeping up with my story, I really do appreciate you all taking the time to read it. Could I just ask that you take a minute and leave a review? It can just be a couple of words–I would like to get some feedback or maybe even find out what predictions you might have. Thanks in advance :) Here is Chapter 4 of "Apple".**

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**Chapter 4: Tell Me What to Do**

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_Where the hell is this going…?_

Clare was stuck. She was the only one who was responsible for Adam for _so_ long. Sure, Helen helped here and there–but Clare still held sole responsibility.

_Now we have to figure out legal shit. Greaaat. _

In the few hours that Eli and Adam were out, Clare had cleaned up Adam's room, the dining table, and reset the sofa that Eli had left all shifted.

_We aren't even together and I'm already cleaning up after him._

* * *

Suddenly, the doorbell rang and Clare heard Adam's laugh from behind the door. Before she could fully let them in, Adam started jumping.

"Mommy, mommy! Look at everything I got! Daddy bought me a hat, a stuffed giraffe, a bouncy ball…it's like my birthday! Yay!" He scattered all his things over the recently cleaned floor.

"He had that look in his eyes and I couldn't say no. Sorry if it's too much," Eli apologized.

"No, no…he's your son too. I don't mind," Clare said with a slight smile, turning to Adam. "I think it's time for you to go take a nap though, isn't it honey?"

"Okay, mommy! Goodnight, I love you." Adam quickly ran away.

There was a moment of silence.

"Well, now we can get a chance to make an arrangement for Adam," Clare solemnly said.

"Arrangement?"

"I mean–we can't just wing it everyday. If you really want to be involved, we have to figure out a schedule for Adam. I was thinking, maybe I could have him on the weekdays, and you on the weekends? I mean he's not used to being without me but wait–do you even have a place for him to stay? Oh my god, I didn't even–"

"Clare," Eli interrupted. "Breathe. I actually–I thought of something. I know it's kind of out there, but maybe," he hesitated, "maybe, we can get a house together?"

_What the fuck._

"Eli, are you out of your mind?" The words spilled out before she even thought about what she had said.

Eli grumbled. "Yes, _Clare_. I've been taking my meds; I know what I'm offering. Just hear me out." Clare nodded.

He continued, "I'm not sure if you know, but I teach at the U of T." He paused, looking at her. "Film Studies, if it matters. I don't make much, but since I've been back, I've lived in a small apartment, saving up the money I get from teaching and other side jobs. If anything, I'm sure Cece and Bullfrog would love to pitch in. They always wanted to help me buy my first house anyway–why not do it now?"

_Wait till they find out they're grandparents…_

"Wow, seems like you have it all planned out," Clare sarcastically replied. "But on a more serious note, don't you think we're moving too fast? Eli, we're not together, and we don't know how to live together. How do you think we'll raise a child together?"

_We've never even spent more than a night or two together_. _Every conversation turns into a fight._

"Look, it was just a suggestion. If it's too much for you…then we will figure something else out. I know Adam has never lived without you and I don't want to take that away from him. He still needs you, Clare. But I want to be in his life, too. And this was the best way I thought possible," Eli explained.

Clare didn't respond. _How the hell are we going to live peacefully in a house together? I definitely don't want to be with anyone right now…but what's best for Adam, at this point?_

"Clare? I want to know what's on your mind."

"Well…I guess we're going to be living together then."

"Are you…are you serious?" Eli asked, surprised.

"What, you think I'm joking around? Yes, I'm being serious. If this is really what will work for Adam, then I'm willing to do it for him."

"Okay then…how should we break the news to Adam?"

"Let's wait for him to wake up from his nap then we can talk to him."

* * *

"Adam, honey, it's time to get up. Come on, I'll give you some milk and cookies," Clare said warmly, running her hands through his dark hair.

Adam got up slowly, but when he looked up he was wide-awake.

"Mommy, why is daddy still here? Yay daddy!"

"Hey, little man, how was your nap?" Eli asked.

"Daddy, why are you still here?" Adam inquired once again, ignoring the question.

"We have to talk to you about something, Adam," Clare replied. "Come on, let's go to the kitchen so I can give you your milk and cookies."

Adam quietly followed Eli and Clare to the kitchen. He was always calm when needed, even though he was easily excited.

Everyone sat down at the dining table, and Clare got Adam's wake-up snack ready. As he began to eat, Clare started talking.

"Adam, your dad and I have decided to get a house together. We want to be able to raise you together, so that you can always have the both of us by your side. What do you think of that?"

"Are you guys married?" Adam asked, mouth full, in a curious tone.

"No, Adam, we're not married," Eli responded.

"Awww," Adam unhappily replied.

"Don't be sad, little man. We just want you to have your family. Your mom and I are still happy friends."

_Are we really though? Barely acquaintances, I'd say._

"Yes, Adam. Still friends–but the important thing is what you think about all of this."

"I just want you to be happy, mommy."

Clare looked at him lovingly. "I will be happy, Adam. Don't worry about me, alright? We will be happy, together."

"Okay mommy. Let's get a house with daddy then."

"So it's settled," Eli enthusiastically remarked. "Now we have to look for a house."

But both of them were still slightly worried. _Let's just hope nothing goes wrong_.

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**So I know that wasn't a long chapter either–but I have some interesting stuff planned for the next :) Let me know what you think will happen! Thanks for reading xoxo**


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